She Wasn’t Always Your Mom

Today is my Mother’s 51st Mother’s Day. (Not to me for Pete’s sake, I’m the baby!)  I realized something a few years ago and thought I’d share it just in case you’re missing it, too.

I believe we all think of our Moms the same way. She’s Mom, what else is there? She cooks, cleans, dries tears, wipes noses, chauffeurs, and referees when we’re young. As we get older, she helps guide college or career choices, constantly encourages whatever your dream may be no matter whether she likes it or not, and is there to catch you every time you fall.  She plans weddings (even if she despises your significant other), calls incessantly to check on you, provides the money when you’re $100 short of that month’s bills, and dotes on her grandchildren like they are the first babies she’s ever been around.  She’s Mom, right?

Right. And wrong. This Mother’s Day, ask your Mom about her life before the universe revolved around you. Do you really know her likes and dislikes? Do you know what she enjoys doing with her time? Before you buy her a new vacuum, find out what she REALLY likes.  Believe me, while you may be the center of her world, she was and still is her own person. I was around 30 years old when I realized my Mother loves to collect teapots. Yet, the assembly of teapots she already had was sitting right in front of my face for years. See?  She’s just Mom and, as her children, we tend not to notice there was life before us.  How dare her!

Do something or give her something she likes – not something you like for her or something you think she can use.  Take her advice on gift-giving, too. You get what you pay for (I can’t believe I said that!). Don’t get a dollar store gift for a woman whose worth is immeasurable.

Realize who she is and surprise her with something she may have always wanted but never bought. She probably spent all her money on you.

Does she collect something? Get her something unique for her collection. Does she love to read? Get her a series of a favorite author.  You get the idea. Can’t afford a gift? Give her some unlimited, quality time doing something she wants to do.

And if she likes alcohol then by all means, buy her a drink or two. You are, after all, the reason she drinks.

While you’re discovering the person she is, go ahead and tell her she was right – about everything. Trust me on this one. By the time you realize she was right, you’ll have a daughter who thinks you’re wrong.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms. To my own Mother, I loves you, miss you, and cannot wait to see you.


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